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Vintage Shitshow Fall Edition | The Perfect Towel

Vintage Shitshow Fall Edition | The Perfect Towel

$22.00
$22.00
Sale Sold Out

In stock

Welcome in The Perfect Towel from our Illusion Collection—a towel that’s more than meets the eye and guaranteed to clean up your act with style! Featuring a vintage weave pattern with a cheeky "Shitshow" subtly printed throughout, this towel isn’t just for wiping spills—it’s a comedy masterpiece!

Crafted from TruWoven™ microfiber, it's a powerhouse in cleanliness—quick-drying, absorbs 7x its weight (perfect for soaking up messes faster than you can say "oops!"), and softer than a cloud on laundry day. The edges are stitched tougher than your resolve during a DIY home renovation.

*Please Note* Our Perfect Kitchen Towels are not mass-produced. As such, slight color variations may occur compared to the online images.

 

 

 

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What Makes The Perfect Towel™ So Perfect?

It’s All in the Details!

It’s All in the Details

TruWoven™ Fabric: 

TruWoven™ fabric has a unique weave structure, tightly woven to maximize cleaning surface area for superior performance. Our cutting edge microfiber fabric is designed to redefine your expectations.

Super absorbent (7x its weight!) AND Dries Lighting FAST!

TruWoven™ fabric is designed to dry faster than ordinary towels, minimizing the time between uses while reducing the chance of mildew, keeping your towels fresher for longer.

Superior Cleaning: 

From the smallest household tasks to the toughest cleaning challenges, these towels tackle it all with ease. The innovative TruWoven™ fabric allows you to clean effectively with just water, reducing the need for harsh chemicals while still leaving your surfaces spotless.

Exceptionally Soft, Incredibly Durable: 

These towels offer a luxurious softness that’s gentle on surfaces, yet they’re built to last and withstand everyday use, wash after wash.

PERFECTION, Redefined!

Size / Quality

All 4 Sides Finished: 

Featuring a durable bound hem for a polished look and lasting quality.

Size:  

Each towel measures 18" x 24". Offering generous coverage for all your household tasks.

Proudly Designed and Printed in the USA!

Eco-Friendly

Eco-Friendly & Sustainable: 

Engineered to be durable and eco-friendly, cutting down on waste and lasting far longer than traditional fabrics. The Perfect Towel™ is crafted from 88% post-consumer recycled polyester and 12% polyamide. 

Shipping - Blink and It's There!

Shipping:

  • Shipping is FREE in the Continental US with orders of $70 or more.
  • For orders less than $70, shipping costs are based on the items in your cart. 
  • Orders are currently leaving our Texas warehouse in 1-3 business days.
  • Once an order ships, it typically arrives in 2-5 additional days for U.S. orders and 7-10 additional days for international orders.
  • When your order ships, we'll send you a shipping confirmation email with tracking information and link. 

From Our Warehouse to Your Doorstep—Fast & Secure.

If you have any more questions or need further assistance, feel free to ask!