{"product_id":"stars-stripes-shitshows-illusion-perfect-towel","title":"Stars, Stripes \u0026 Shitshows Illusion | Perfect Towel","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eThis patriotic plaid is hiding a full-blown shitshow behind those stripes—and honestly? So are we. Perfect for BBQs, passive-aggressive family gatherings, or just surviving the summer with style.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e• Super Absorbent – Holds 7x its weight in water\u003cbr\u003e• Fast-Drying – Dries 30% faster than cotton towels\u003cbr\u003e• Eco-Friendly – Made from 100% recycled materials\u003cbr\u003e• Perfect Size – 18\" x 24\" for max coverage\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• Family-Owned – Small biz, big personality\u003cbr\u003e• 100-Day Returns – Love it or send it back\u003cbr\u003e• Single Sided Print\u003cbr\u003e• Designed and Printed in the USA\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Twisted Wares®","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51865588465939,"sku":"125571","price":24.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0893\/5614\/0819\/files\/9_e7f55c9a-b9c6-4cd9-8665-3232c34a810a.png?v=1749654888","url":"https:\/\/twistedwares.com\/products\/stars-stripes-shitshows-illusion-perfect-towel","provider":"Twisted Wares®","version":"1.0","type":"link"}